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by Jon Brooks
Fri, June 29, 2007, 3:00 am PDT

One K. Miller informs us that "Miller" occupies seventh place on the list of most popular U.S. surnames. Whittle that horde down by a large factor to include only those whose first name begins with the letter "K," and that's still a whole lot of folks. This leaves a big pool of K. Miller email potentially sent to the wrong K. Miller, i.e. our K. Miller, who likes to post misaddressed missives that wind up in his inbox. A few:
  • Someone queries a K. Miller about his experience with a recommended colon cleanser.
  • A Harvard psychology professor writes a K. Miller using the phrases "Hey man" and "Congrats dude."
  • A K. Miller seems reluctant to end his relationship with a woman who requests he leave her stuff on his patio for pick-up.
So if you're a K. Miller with MIA email, check with K. Miller. 'Kay, Miller?
by Jon Brooks
Thu, May 31, 2007, 3:00 am PDT

We all know craigslist as the ultimate utilitarian site. Need a used laptop? Browse. Looking for a single professional male with no fear of commitment? Search (and search and search). But who knew the classifieds juggernaut also includes some of the most creative online writing this side of the blogosphere? Culled from the site's vast network and nominated by users, "Best of" features a host of posts to delight and entertain: "My cat is a free loader" chronicles an inter-species household showdown; "Celebrity Nail clippings for Elementary Math tutor" proposes a simple barter. And the missive "To the guy who had sex last night in front of my house" addresses a man who not only parked his Toyota in a forbidden zone, but committed some other illicit acts there, too. Other fine reading: "Ways to not write a resume," "To my dear unconscious friend," and " You smiled at me going into your colonoscopy." "I thought of you throughout my own colonoscopy. The technitian (sic) didn't interest me in the slightest."
by Molly McCall
Wed, May 16, 2007, 3:00 am PDT

Even digital dictators have feelings. And what better way to let those gusty emotions out than on a faux-blog? With The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, a rowdy facsimile of the iGuru opens the doors to his innermost Apple-founding, Pixar-running, black-turtleneck-wearing self. He waxes on about the iPhone; reveals the secret super power of James Gosling, the father of Java; and occasionally lets his guard down on such topics as being obscenely wealthy. He also disabuses anyone of the notion that life at the top gets you a little peace and quietly played smooth jazz. "The Clintstones" want meetings, "wacky old Sir Richard Branson" wants to chat via satellite phone from 14,000 feet overhead, and there's Steve Spielberg again, pitching yet another movie idea ("some ideas just don't click"). Don't even mention the "MicroTards," the "freetards," and every other irritant in what should be the rosy life of His Jobsness. Did he mention he invented the iPod?
by Molly McCall
Fri, March 16, 2007, 3:00 am PDT

We love Apple's "Get a Mac" campaign, which pairs older guy-PC with younger guy-Mac and shows off how much hipper and cuter and cooler Mac is. But now, we're roaring just as loudly over these four spoofs of the ad series from writer and director Laurie McGuinness. Before the same white background, portly PC and adorably disheveled Mac meet, talk, and occasionally disagree. But in these scenarios, PC wears sharply tailored suits and has a hot blonde girl friend. Mac shows up late, looking groggy from working all night on a web site for his cat. PC wants to hear what Mac is listening to; Mac doesn't want to share. PC allows that he deals with all the boring spread sheets and businessy stuff; Mac suddenly realizes that he can't make the rent. Sure, sure, we're propagating the most horrific of computer stereotypes. But, hey, it's funny. Besides, some of our best friends are PCs and Macs.
by Molly McCall
Fri, October 27, 2006, 3:00 am PDT

From time to time, Wikipedia's contributors have waded into bloody, internecine battles over the online encyclopedia's entries. And a fair number of these "edit wars" are spectacularly petty. In true Wiki-fashion, a special page now exists to catalog the nastiest and most trivial of them all. For the casual reader, it offers a humorous take on how deeply people care about topics like André the Giant's actual height, the true diameter of the Death Star, whether Cher is a gay icon, and what picture should accompany the Invisible Pink Unicorn category (if any). Though the page is "not comprehensive" about the full extent to which Wiki-brother has turned on Wiki-brother, enjoy it regardless. Dodge the rounds of friendly fire. And stay out of the way of such dangerously contentious questions as...
  • "Is the phrase 'the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds' worthy of inclusion" in the exploding whale category?
  • "Is apple pie really "all American"?"
  • "Did Daffy Duck father any children?" (Or maybe that should be: any ducklings? Eek!)


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